If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
