It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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