Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
