Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
