haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
