i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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