can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
