clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
