he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
God, I missed his penis.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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