i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
