Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
