It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
