Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
