By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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