this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
