wanna go halves on a baby?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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