I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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