Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
