I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize