Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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