I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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