So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
