Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
