I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
