My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
