i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
