I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
