he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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