Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She needs sedatives and a leash
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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