I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
