i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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