Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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