i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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