dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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