I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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