i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
