belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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