she takes plan B like it's going out of style
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
