if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
