So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
