I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
