whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
