We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
