We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
