If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
