Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
