The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I believe in your delicious
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
