the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
