clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
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no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
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Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
do nipples grow back?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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