the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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