he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
