dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
