No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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