Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
