Buhtt sex?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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